Update 11 weeks 1 Day

I have been slacking when it comes to blogging. I am just so tired that all I want to do when I get home from work is sleep. I skipped the last 2 Empty Arms meetings because I was tired and also because I did not think I could handle hearing about all the bad things that can happen and do happen during a pregnancy. I know what they are, but I have been stressing myself out enough so I just stayed home. Everything seems to be going well with this pregnancy although I have a hard time believing that everything will stay that way. I have had a couple of scares that with Addison I would not have freaked out, but with this one I am. I went to the ob office twice and had 2 ultrasounds before my first official appointment. The doctors are being so nice and have told me that I can call whenever I need to and that they will do what they can for me. At my first ultrasound (pictures below) they saw that there was a bleed, it was very small and they said completely normal. On Mother's Day the bleed thought it would be a good idea to come out and scare the sh*t out of me. I called the ob office and they said it was probably just the bleed coming out and that they would have me come in the next day for an ultrasound. I spent all of Mother's Day laying down and praying that this baby was going to be okay. At the ultrasound the next day the bleed was gone so that is all it was.

I really want to find a way to not stress out throughout this whole pregnancy, it's not good for me or the baby. I am worried that the stress is going to lead to high blood pressure (which I had a little bit of the last month I was pregnant with Addi) and that the doctors will put me on bed rest, which I don't want. I may need to make a serious effort to find a therapist that can help me work through the stress and the emotions I am having with this baby.

In Monday I have my first trimester screening. I am excited to have another ultrasound so I can see my baby, but I am also scared. Ultrasounds freak me out! An ultrasound is how they found out that Addison did not have a heartbeat anymore and I am scared that history will repeat itself.

Here are the 2 pictures from my first ultrasound:

Isn't my coffee bean adorable:)

They were showing me there was a heartbeat:)

According to the ultrasound we will be having a Christmas miracle this year. Coffee Bean is due right on Christmas Day although we will be induced early. This WILL be a good Christmas this year! (Positive thinking at work:))