John and I have started trying to get pregnant. We both want a baby so bad and I feel like I am going to be a disappointment to him. Women who have lost babies understand this feeling. I feel like I failed. I am a women, I should be able to get pregnant, stay pregnant and give birth to a live baby. I did 2 out of 3, which in a lot of cases is great, not so much in this one. How do you get past the fear that you will never have a live baby?
Last night John and I were discussing when we would tell people when we do get pregnant. We told people right away with Addison. A part of me wants to tell people right away this time too, but there is a part of me that wants to wait until after the 1st trimester. I don't even really know why, it's not like I will feel like we are "safe" once we are past the 1st trimester. I know firsthand that bad things can happen throughout the pregnancy. I think John will want to tell a select few people so he can have people to talk to if he is stressing out. I am hoping when the time comes we will know what is right for us.
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I agree with you in that you will know when it is time to tell. I feel the same way, wondering when I might say something as the time comes- do I tell immediately, wait to the 2nd trimester, wait until it becomes physically obvious?
ReplyDeleteA social worker gave me a great piece of advice- she said you can't "untell." On the other hand, you may need all the support you can get- I hear it is common to be in panic mode during a pregnancy that follows a loss.